Kelso kiboshes retirement after Cyr slam
CALGARY, AB -- After an illustrious career in Europe capped off by several standout performances at the Finance Cup, projected first-ballot hall-of-famer Sean Kelso was ready to ease into retirement.
That is, until Rollie Cyr's cheap shots cut right through his soul.
With the Team Roughnecks general manager calling Kelso's legacy into question, the ginger had no choice but to fire back on Cyr.
"For someone who talks a thousand times faster than he skates, his selective memory -- when not on his meds -- has failed him yet again," Kelso said.
Agreeing to terms with Team Flames, the diminutive offensive defenseman will return to action and is ready to ensure Cyr doesn't see his name on the Calgary Sports and Entertainment Challenge Cup in 2013.
In fact, Kelso urged Cyr to not only retire his ancient equipment, but follow suit with himself before the aging veteran suffers a serious setback.
“After photo shopping his less than desirable mug into every championship team photo of the last several Finance Cups, Rollie Cyr has retrieved his cooperalls out of attic and decided to lace them up one more time. Well not exactly, for someone who has taken an all-out beating by Father Time, Rollie is now relegated to using Velcro skates in the hope of not breaking a hip when lacing up his Microns."
After taking a shot at Cyr's alzheimer's and vintage gear, Kelso took aim at the veteran's skills.
"For someone who lists “struck by lightning” as his number one accomplishment on his resume and was voted as “most likely to be a professional clown” in his high school yearbook, I feel very confident that his skills -- or lack thereof -- will only benefit any team that faces him," Kelso said.
Whether or not Kelso is able to back up his strong words or if Cyr steals the last laugh remains to be seen as their heated rivalry spills over to the Championship.